So far....

So far all my posts have been calm and orderly in an attempt to remain positive. That may have been  misleading. I assure you I am anything but calm. I am a walking time bomb of anxiety. I am as unsure as a caged animal new to release who isn't sure which way to run first. I am very good at hiding my anxiety the years of practice I am sure are to blame. Today my anxiety shows like a shining sun ready to explode, today there is no hiding.

    Today Jacks one-on-one aid left. She's the third to do so since school started on the 8th of August.
That's 4 weeks of school and he's gone through 3 aids. I am sick. Sick with that feeling of worry in my throat sick with the anxiety that will be finding the next person to trust with my son sick that I won't know if  this person is going to stay sick that what if they do but aren't what he needs. These are the things I think about, This is what keeps me up at night.